Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
by xAME.HiMEx
Summary: Koenma is flipping through channels and finds something interesting to watch...Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

My very first Yu Yu Hakusho fic, I got the idea when talking to a good friend of mine, ( She helpped alot ) , and I thought it was a really good idea! I don't watch Jerry Springer that often so..yeah.. And everyone is extremly OOC, every Jerry..- -;; So, that's how it turned out...And, I hope you like it!

Please review!

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Usually, he always had SOMETHING better to do. But not today. He skimmed through the channels, not really looking at them, just searching for something to occupy his time. Koenma took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. Static. Static. Oh! Something to watch! He looked at the television, hopping for something interesting to capture his attention, and found no such thing. ' Oh well..' he thought, giving up totally, and had a feeling there HAD to be something else to do. He looked at the fuzzy screen of the television, and hoped one last time for something to come on before he turned the power off. He gave it a shot and pressed the " up " button on the small black remote control.

The picture came into view, and he realized what it was. The " Jerry Springer Show ". He had remembered watching this at least one time before. "Ah! It's about time!" he cried gleefully, and settled down to watch.

There was Jerry Springer, standing in the crowd of people, holding a microphone and note cards. At the left bottom corner of the screen said,"JERRY SPRINGER SHOW" and next to it, in smaller letters said, " Crazy Love/HateHexagon! ". Koenma raised a thin eyebrow. The camera switched postitions, to show the stage, and the people on it. " Hey.." Koenma leaned in to the T.V. to get a better look. A young man with black hair and scowl on his face leaned back into the chair. " T-THAT'S YUUSUKE!" He yelled, eyes wide open in amazement. He heard someone talking, couldn't make out who it was, and then saw Yuusuke's mouth move. He turned the volume up to level 52 on his television.

" So, you're saying that the love of your life loves someone else, and another person loves you that you don't particuarlly like, correct? "

" Yeah. Pretty much."

" So, you're trying to get rid of this other person, right? "

" People."

" And the other persondoesn't know of your love for them? "

" Yeah..." Yuusuke's face flushed a bit.

" Alright then, let's bring out Kazuma Kuwabara! "

Koenma sat there, processing what he just heard. " Wait a minute.."

Yuusuke's face flushed totally once Kuwabara came onto the stage. Kazuma Kuwabara did NOT seem very happy to be there. the whole crowd liked the fact that he was there apparently, and they clapped for him.

Koenma sat wide eyed, listening to every word. " Yuusuke..loves..KUWABARA? OH MY GOD!" He yelled, and then started laughing hysterically, unable to control it.

" So, Yuusuke, did you want to tell him anything?" Jerry asked, as he scooted back into the stands,and the crowd became captivated.

" Kuwabara..I wanted to tell you..that I..l-li-ike you.." Yuusuke stuttered out, and the whole crowd became silent for Kuwabara's reaction.

" Urameshi, you're a nice guy but..uh..I'm not..THAT way..y'know? Besides, I got Yukina! " He grinned ear to ear. Yuusuke looked everywhere but Kuwabara. The crowed " awww..'ed.".

" So Yuusuke, what about the other girl that you don't like, but likes you, huh?"

" Girls."

" Right. Girls. Let's bring in Keiko Yukimura and Botan!" The crowd cheered loudly.

The two ladies entered the stage angrily, and thier hatred aiming towards Yuusuke, eyes seeming to burn holes into him,he sat there, chuckling nervously.

" WHAT THE HELL, YUUSUKE? " Botan yelled.

" Yeah! " Keiko said right after.

" Well, uh.. heheh..." he smiled as Botan got closer to him and whacked him on the head. The crowed chanted, " Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! "

" Ok, now, ladies, calm dow-"

" You made me think you liked me! You bastard!", Keiko steamed at him.

" I never really liked you anyway! " Botan crossed her arms angrily. Yuusuke couldn't utter a word.

" You're an idiot! A stupid idiot! You could have told me that you liked Kuwabara! " Keiko yelled more. She whacked him on the head right where Botan hit.

" Owww! "

" Whatever..Kuwabara's taken, so, it doesn't matter." Botan scowled.

" Yeah! " Kuwabara trailed

" Shut up, Kuwa-chan! "

" Ok, Ok, now, Kuwabara, apparently, there is a lovely woman named Yukina in your life. Why don't we bring her out here now?" he totally ignored the ruckus and fighting on the stage. Hey, you would too. Yukina walked out shyly onto the stage, she gasped at the surroundings and just sort of scuttled off to the corner.

" So, Yukina, I heard that your brother is also traveling with this bunch, correct?"

" Y-yes.." she tried to ignore the fighting and yelling on the stage as well.

" Why don't we bring him out here? " The crowd cheered again.

" WHAT THE F-bleep-? WHY DO YOU KEEP DRAGGING PEOPLE OUT HERE? " Yuusuke yelled, his face cut and bruised.

Hiei just stood in the door way, deciding whether to stay out or go back in. He did'nt really like the idea of getting involved in this mess, but, he ended up doing so.

" Why am I here now? " Hiei hissed, his attention turning to a battling Botan and Yuusuke.

" Well, Hiei, We heard from other sources that you are having an intamate relationship with a, " Kurama ". Is this true? "

Hiei turned bright red and he started walking off the stage, until Kurama walked onto the stage. He laughed softly at his surroundings, " Oh. Hello, Hiei. I did'nt see you over there. Will you come on to the stage like you're supposed to, please? " He smiled gently.

Hiei turned almost a maroon color now.

" WHAT THE F-bleep-, BITCH? " was heard from the stage wher the only noise now was Yuusuke and Botan fighting, and Keiko cheering on Botan. All attention was turned to them.

" I'm outta here. " Hiei said flattly, and walked out the door, Kurama tailing, " Wait- wait- wait! " smiling nervously.

Yukina had left, following Kurama who was following Hiei.

" And we'll be right back, after these commercials! "


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, on to chapter two! And once again, thank you very, very much Sammi! You helped me out alot.

Once again, if you read this and liked it, please review! Thanks.

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" And we're back! "

Koenma jumped up in his seat, he could'nt miss one second of this hilarious program. After the show ended, he promised to give them all so much shit about this, laugh at them, point AND laugh, y'know, the works.

His attention turned to the screen, which portrayed everyone in the earlier half of the show, the rowdy, loud, obnoxious bunch, sitting quietly in chairs. Yuusuke, in the first chair, and then, Keiko, Kuwabara, Botan, Yukina, Hiei, and then Kurama in the very last chair.

" So, let me get this strait, Yuusuke loves Kuwabara, Kuwabara loves Yukina, who loves Kurama, who loves Hiei, and Kurama is admierred by Botan as well. And Mrs.Yukimura loves Yuusuke, who does'nt have those feelings, right? "

" I guess so. " Urameshi shrugged. Hiei was still bright red from earlier, and sitting next to Kurama wasn't helping.

" You mean YES, Yuusuke, you idiot. " Keiko snapped,

" Oh, someone is still steaming from earlier, huh? "

" No s-bleep-. "Keiko retorted.

" Yuusuke! " Botan reached over the others to knock him on the side of his head.

" YOU WANNA START THIS AGAIN, BITCH?"

" LET'S GO, YOU P-bleep-SY!"

"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! " the crowd chanted, wanting more.

" Well, I've had enough of them, so let's move on. " Jerry smiled, and the audience laughed heartily. So those two were duecing it out, as Keiko cheered on Botan once more, and Kuwabara just sat there, looking puzzled.

" So Kurama, you're quite the player, hm? "

A look of discust crossed his face. " N-Never.." he stuttered." I would never do such a dirty thing.." Kurama thought it over for a while, as Jerry moved on.

" And you Hiei, when did your relationship with Kurama begin?"

Hiei could'nt take it anymore, he could'nt have cameras watching him anymore. It pissed him off, that's what it did. He stepped off the stage once more, except this time, punching out one of the cameras on his while on his merry way.

--bbbeeeeeepp--

" W-WHAT?" Koenma yelled, his cry echoing through the corridors of his home.

--Please exuse us, but we are having techincal difficulties at the moment, we will be back on shortly. Thank you-- the teleision replied to his yelling.

" TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES MY ASS! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT AFTER THIS HIEI! YOU J-"

" And we're back! " the announcer said loudly, silencing the outraged viewer almost instatly. Koenma sank back happily to his chair.

Now it was just a bloodied up Yuusuke, a very proud Botan, a confused Kuwabara, and a silent Yukina. You could hear a fued between Hiei and Kurama very lightly in the background, alomost silent now.

" So, you guys have to work this out now, we only have a few minutes left."

" What the hell? " Yuusuke managed to say with his swollen cheek, which came out alot differently, more like, " Uht eh ehll?"

" Well, I'm satisfied." Botan smirked over at Yuusuke. Yuusuke glared back.

" Get back on the stage, please, Hiei!" said a soft male voice. And then soon came Kurama, pushing a very angry Hiei to the stage against his will. Hiei sighed,

" Why? " He scowled.

" Because we have to work stuff out. " all of the audience was silent, and so were the other guests, all totally captivated by the arguement. He pushed Hiei down in the chair. Hiei could'nt go against Kurama, so he sat there, with the scowl remaining.

" So...back to the show then..."

" Heheh," Kurama blushed," Sorry for inturupting! "

" Not a problem. So anyway, Yuusuke, what do you plan to do now?"

Yuusuke was still in a glaring match with Botan, until maybe thirty seconds after he said it. " Oh." his cheek still swolled from the punch he took.

" eell, ah unno..ayehh eitch ehm...yo?"

" Uh..um..alrighty then...what about you Botan?"

" I plan to kick his sorry ass tomorrow, too, if he's still an asshole." The crowd gasped, and then laughed. Little did they know, she was serious.

" And you? " He turned to Kuwabara, who seemed, at this point, the only sensible one besides Yukina.

" Well, if Yukina really does'nthave feelings for me, I guess I won't force her." He smiled,and the crowd cooed. Yukina smiled at him, " Thank you Kuwabara.."

" And you?" he asked Yukina, who was totally occupied looking at Kuwabara. "W-what? Oh, um..Maybe hang out with Kuwabara sometime..." the crowd cooed again, and she laughed a little bit.

" And you two?"

Kurama smiled. He leaned over and grabbed Hiei's hand.

" Well! Hiei and I are going to get married! " he smiled and laughed, Hiei's eyes almost bulged out of his head. the crowd cooed AGAIN.

" W-When did you decide this?" Hiei yelled

" Aw..do you not like me anymore? "

" O-of course I do! " his face flushed again. The audience laughed at them

" And that's all the time we have! " said Jerry, talking over the argueing and fussing.

" This show was br-"

The screen went dark. Koenma put down the remote. He almost could'nt believe what he saw. It was strange..like a dream..or a nightmare..

" Now where are they..." hechuckled and lifted himself off the couch to go and find the bunch,


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter is basically when happend after the whole thing, kind of like a bonus chapter... My friend told me to write it, and I will thank her again,

Thanks Sam!

Hope you like it! R&R please!

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His eyes filled with tears from the laughing pouring out of his mouth. A few days back, he had watched a television program titled, " The Jerry Springer Show ". But it was different, because the guests were people he knew. Yuusuke, Keiko, Botan, Kuwabara, Yukina, Kurama, and Hiei. As he had promised himself, he was to make fun of them, laugh and point. So, he called all of them to his office, sitting in his desk, feeling very satisfied with himself. They stood in front of his desk, in what seemed to be a perfect line. Yuusuke farthest to the left, and Botan farthest to the right, Koenma saw this tactic perfect,for Botan, could no longer hit Urameshi. Koenma admired his genius.

" I have brought all of you here today to talk to you- no, excuse me, LAUGH AT you all. " Koenma chuckled. Hiei and Yukina seemed to be the only ones who had a clue what he was talking about, because the blushed and tried to turn away. Kurama grabbed Hiei's hand and tighened his grip, which was'nt helping. And, Kuwabara Kazuma observed this technique, and grabbed Yukina's hand as well. " Ah-" Yukina did'nt finish.

" What are you talking about, you little brat? " Apparently, his wounds had healed.

" Shut up, Urameshi!" Koenma fumed. " You all know! You all were on television a couple of days ago!" he nearly stood up in his chair.

" Oh...Thhhaaatt!" Botan smiled, " Yeah, I remembered kicking SOMEONE'S ass.."

Yuusuke raised an eyebrow, giving her the not-right-now-you-idiot look, followed by, " Oh please. "

" Shut up Urameshi, you and everyone watching knows she did." He smirked.

" Yeah, yeah..."

" Ok, back to the point!" Koenma dusted off his lap and sat backdown. " And you! Kurama!"

" Yes? "

" And Hiei!" he yelled, Hiei did'nt reply." Getting MARRIED!"

" Yes!"

" NO!"

" Aww, Hiei!"

He scowled trying to cover his embarrasment." Is THIS why you called us in here?"

" Well.. hehe.." Koenma scratched the back of his head. " yeah."

Hiei's black eybrows rose almost an inch. " Are you SERIOUS?"

" ehehehehe..Well, it's a funny story.." And by that time, all he heard was the door click.

" Hieiiiii..." click. Another one gone.

" Well, since the rest of you are there, I'll laugh at you." He smiled , " HA HA HA! "

" Thazzit?" Yuusuke asked in an irritated tone.

" Uhmm..." Keiko uttered, cocking her head to show her confusion. " I have somewhere to be.."

" ME TOO!" Kuwabara shouted, taking this oppertunity to leave as well, and ran out the door. Still holding on to Yukina, with a chuckling Keiko behind them.

" Hey, Botan, wanna go get a drink?"

" Sure."

And with that, Koenma was left with an empty room.

-x-x-x-x-----

Six and a half months later,

Yuusuke was in a serious relationship with Botan,

Yukina left Kuwabara, to live with Keiko (( as a roommate )),

Hiei and Kurama got married,

And Kuwabara admitted his feelings for Koenma, and now he lives all by his ugly self.

- o w a r i -


End file.
